Mt. Pulag Chronicles: Humbled

Almost a year since me and my friends were able to climb the summit of Mt. Pulag. I said in my second blog regarding our adventure that I will share how God dealt and is continually dealing with my heart issues using the climb adventure. However, because of busy schedules and since writing has been postponed several time, I got unmotivated to write.
 
This is a long overdue so I’ll give it a shot today.

It’s was an amazing experience to be on a mountain’s summit. It’s really like being on top of the world. It’s a breathtaking view. It’s a beauty to behold. Unlike any other beautiful things and sceneries I have seen, it’s a beauty that I want to stay longer. Enthralled. Mesmerized. Enamored.

But more than the captivated feeling, my heart was being humbled that chilling morning. I was wrestling with my emotions. A part of me was thankful and glorifying the Lord and another part of me wanted to glorify myself.

Because of several frustrations in my preparation that I have discussed in the first chronicle, I was telling myself up there, “You did well, Mark! Not bad for a first timer. Look the weather is perfect. Your friends are enjoying your hard work. No accident happened and everything went well. You deserve some recognition, don’t you think? You proved them wrong. Your other friends didn’t listen to you when you said the weather would turn out bad. Your group now had the perfect weather condition. Some of your friends didn’t go with you because they couldn’t entrust themselves to a climb coordinator who might end up a casualty. Look, didn’t you carry your own load? No back pains! This is your vindication.”

Then the other part of me would say, “This is God’s grace to you. Bless the Lord. Give glory to God! Your success is not possible without His blessing.”

I was like a Gollum-scenario inside of me.
Don’t you observe how much words did my selfish and proud self have said compared to what my other part have said. It says in Proverbs 10:19, “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

I confess that I am one proud man. I don’t like being belittled. I don’t like being sidelined. I’m not happy if my ideas or thoughts are not respected or even just considered. If my preferences and expectation are not met, I get easily frustrated. It makes me irritated or angry. I have a puffed up view of myself.

My Mt. Pulag adventure was a good experience… and a necessary experience. It was necessary because I really needed humbling. I needed to have a heart check. I was looking at a beautiful and magnificent view created by God and there God is looking in my heart filled with distasteful anger, bitterness and pride.

I need a constant humbling. External situations may never change or they may never meet my expectations. The world I live in is a fallen world. People are not perfect and sinful. Family and friends will not always be there for me 100% of the time and there are times they will fail me. Each person has their idiosyncrasies and these peculiarities may go well with me or not. I will get hurt. But these shouldn’t stop from relating with others.

The battle with pride is not over. It didn’t end when I descended Mt. Pulag. A daily heart check is necessary and I don’t have to climb every mountain summit there is to have profound realizations that I’m proud and I need constant humbling. The Word of God is enough to see where I fall short (Psalm 24:3-5 and James 1:22-24).